All that you have is your soul...

Haven't you ever felt that the more you struggle the more difficult it becomes to gain something? How come for some of us everything is damn difficult and for others is so damn easy? Is it luck or fortune? Is is something special that some are born with?

And the worst part is that even if you wrestle with all the problems, the final achievement is never guaranteed. Some say it's all about the fight...life itself seems so be a continuous struggle to become a better person, have better things, live in better conditions. But do we all come across the meaning of all that? Does it have a meaning? I heard many times God is just giving us all the troubles to strengthen us, to make us aware of all the inner power we possess. It might be so, it should be so, still it is too challenging and depressing sometimes, it is some sort of pain we don't want to go through.
I could never cheat at my exams. I just didn't feel it right. My mother taught me that each small achievement has to be done with a moral attitude, because winning something by fake or by cheat is wrong and shameful. Then she told me that if I study hard life will offer me the credit I deserve, that I could have a decent life, win more money and offer my children a better life. Really?! I am wondering every day: do all these shameless bastards with no knowledge, no respect for the elders, for life or for themselves had a moral behavior for all the fortune and fame they show off with every day? Do these bimbo-es smiling with a dumb face and having no other qualities but their naked body had to struggle for their villas and high-life?
Don't get me wrong...I don't really want a luxurious car or a huge house...I want a decent life and, trust me, in Romania is very difficult to have that by hard work and wits.I would love to offer my children the possibility to see some important cities in the world, to buy them quality food, nice toys, nice clothes, good education in a very good school. But even enrolling your child to a good school is a real struggle. There are hours of waiting in front of headmasters offices, start preparing papers 2 years ahead, talk to all the people involved, pay some attention to the cleaning lady ('cause she knows how stuff works in that school) and in the end there is nothing about knowledge...the selection has nothing to do with the child' abilities, vocations or desires. It's just a way of branding a good school by having only rich kids studying there. And we are not even close those famous private schools we find abroad, where there are rich people contributing for the school, but even the school provides the best accommodation, best teachers, best future perspectives. No, here the story is so much different: the more you study the bigger loser you are seen and the less work opportunities you have; the more you inject drugs and spend your rich daddy's money on drinks and women the higher you step on the social ladder.
I can cope with that too, but I would really love to think that all this creepy social and moral situation might change in the future, that we, as society, have a chance.
I heard our president advising young students, freshly finishing their studies to leave the country and find better jobs abroad. And then they ask about patriotism, about wrestling for your own country. Why? What for? I am very much aware that if we stay here and work in our own country, create our own products and buy them we help the national economy,thus providing a better life for ourselves and our children. I also know the change has to start from us, from each of us, by means of educating ourselves into finding resources, life long education and flexibility in the job market. And I am sure most of the people my age do that. Still it has become harder and harder to find or keep a proper and decent job. And that's sad...
I was reading some nice and quite inspiring quotes about wrestling and I have always agreed that "without the pain there is no gain", but how come there can be so much gain without any pain? That's my question. And yes, maybe "the art of living is more like wrestling than dancing" (Marcus Aurelius), but can't we just dream that one day we will be allowed to dance as a celebration of this continuous wrestling?
And to sweeten a bit my bitter tone I am just going to dedicate this wonderful song to all of you who sometimes share my worries: