Change is a drop of rain
So soft, so burning deep
On eyes, on skin—inside
That no one feels the same
And cannot give advice.
Change is a drop of rain
That touched one soul
And poured aloud
The scream, the no, the stay or go
The nothing that remains at heart.
Change is a drop of rain
That we all see, but cannot say
The shape, the name
The rising sun that fights the storm
Into a start...
Change is a drop of rain
And through the midst of falling stars
You hear the strangers peeping still
And ask a shallow : “Which one?“
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Many, many...
Many many days and nights aloud
Many many cries and laughs around
Many many hands and lips thrive on
Many many dreams still wait along...
Many many cries and laughs around
Many many hands and lips thrive on
Many many dreams still wait along...
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Simplicity
I was watching a documentary on history of humanity and I noticed the scientists talk about hundred, thousand or billion of years when discussing constructions, development, progress... I suddenly thought about our lives, how much are we given? 40, 50 years to live, develop, find our path, discover who we are, leave something behind... sounds like a race and the question comes: How can we do all that in such a short time? And this is how words like prioritizing, selection, synthesis become part of our vocabulary.
But seriously, how do we know that we are on the right track? How do we know what is, in fact, important?These days, I heard more and more people advising each other in terms of loving oneself above all, focusing on one's own needs and desires and miraculously the sense and beauty of life would pop up. Is that so?
What about kindness towards the others, what about tolerance, what about understanding the others vision and approach on living?
I was wondering: If I start loving myself and focusing on my own dreams above all, will that be the key to a happy life? And how will I relate that to my relationship with my kids, or my family, what kind of message will I send to them? Will they see me a strong, self-conducted person or will I just be another selfish, egocentric person that nobody has something to learn from?
Isn't it curious that in a world of so many networks, of so easily-connected people, of great development the most important thing we are taught is to become more and more self-centered? And isn't it funny that especially when there were so little means of communication, people were focusing on relationships, on the power of many working as a team, on importance of tolerance and love for the other?
Anyways, I am a bit confused and that's why I guess that one's life should follow some simple rules or guidelines, because our existence means nothing for the majority, but it can means enormous for the few that we meet and we share our life with.
So this is what I was thinking- what if:
- we try to be moral above all and avoid stepping on the others for our benefit?
- we love our dreams and ambitions, but we learn to love others and help them at least half of how much we love ourselves?
- we avoid bad language in front of our kids, we fight for their good,we learn how to be better so that they learn how to improve their own selves?
- we stop hating (which so damn tough these days), holding a grudge, avenging each time we get the chance?
- we stop making good deeds just to be awarded and pointed towards as saviors of others? ( a good deed should stay anonymous, otherwise it's a stupid way of praising ourselves)- isn't it funny that we volunteer for great causes, but we swear and fight and yell in front of our children each time we get the chance?...
- we respect the others (but not by saying hello), we try not to be so hypocrite in our relationships? So many fake smiles and so little truth spoken...
I guess there could be more... But I realized these days that loving myself, ignoring the others and not facing the reality of my life, running away from the problems or faking the real me, denying my faults and my strong points as well, has actually dragged me down, instead of making me go up, on a higher standard of life. Moreover, instead of chasing wild goose in aphorisms and preaching of others I could start from little gestures, small sincere words and maybe that could bring a real staircase in front of me, ready to climb slowly but steady...
But seriously, how do we know that we are on the right track? How do we know what is, in fact, important?These days, I heard more and more people advising each other in terms of loving oneself above all, focusing on one's own needs and desires and miraculously the sense and beauty of life would pop up. Is that so?What about kindness towards the others, what about tolerance, what about understanding the others vision and approach on living?
I was wondering: If I start loving myself and focusing on my own dreams above all, will that be the key to a happy life? And how will I relate that to my relationship with my kids, or my family, what kind of message will I send to them? Will they see me a strong, self-conducted person or will I just be another selfish, egocentric person that nobody has something to learn from?
Isn't it curious that in a world of so many networks, of so easily-connected people, of great development the most important thing we are taught is to become more and more self-centered? And isn't it funny that especially when there were so little means of communication, people were focusing on relationships, on the power of many working as a team, on importance of tolerance and love for the other?
Anyways, I am a bit confused and that's why I guess that one's life should follow some simple rules or guidelines, because our existence means nothing for the majority, but it can means enormous for the few that we meet and we share our life with.
So this is what I was thinking- what if:
- we try to be moral above all and avoid stepping on the others for our benefit?
- we love our dreams and ambitions, but we learn to love others and help them at least half of how much we love ourselves?
- we avoid bad language in front of our kids, we fight for their good,we learn how to be better so that they learn how to improve their own selves?
- we stop hating (which so damn tough these days), holding a grudge, avenging each time we get the chance?
- we stop making good deeds just to be awarded and pointed towards as saviors of others? ( a good deed should stay anonymous, otherwise it's a stupid way of praising ourselves)- isn't it funny that we volunteer for great causes, but we swear and fight and yell in front of our children each time we get the chance?...
- we respect the others (but not by saying hello), we try not to be so hypocrite in our relationships? So many fake smiles and so little truth spoken...
I guess there could be more... But I realized these days that loving myself, ignoring the others and not facing the reality of my life, running away from the problems or faking the real me, denying my faults and my strong points as well, has actually dragged me down, instead of making me go up, on a higher standard of life. Moreover, instead of chasing wild goose in aphorisms and preaching of others I could start from little gestures, small sincere words and maybe that could bring a real staircase in front of me, ready to climb slowly but steady...
Monday, January 6, 2014
Shy ?!
Run, run eagle in flames
or fly above the smoking trees !
But why not walk and dream or stay
On moving lips- a cry in vain?
or fly above the smoking trees !
But why not walk and dream or stay
On moving lips- a cry in vain?
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New year, same story
2014! Well, here came a new year and one of the first things we all do is make wishes, hoping for the best, dreaming of new and good things happening, but the reality is we have no idea what is there waiting for us, just the unpredictable hiding right behind the corner, testing our courage, sometimes our faith or strength. But that's the beauty of New Year's celebrations, that's the beauty of surrounding ourselves with friends and family so that we can find new wings to jump into the abyss of the next year.
I don't know about you, but I actually hate January, just because for me it's the dullest month of the year, it's all static and feeling-less and it kind of cuts those big wide-spread wings I was telling you about. So after a few days of testing the new year's day to day life I realize we are back on the same old story and that time flies just the same... if there is to be a change it will never be starting on 1st of January, but the change starts any day you feel it should occur, stick to it, fight for it and maybe the new year might start in March , August or November...
I don't know when 2014 will start for me, but I will surely let you know :)
I don't know about you, but I actually hate January, just because for me it's the dullest month of the year, it's all static and feeling-less and it kind of cuts those big wide-spread wings I was telling you about. So after a few days of testing the new year's day to day life I realize we are back on the same old story and that time flies just the same... if there is to be a change it will never be starting on 1st of January, but the change starts any day you feel it should occur, stick to it, fight for it and maybe the new year might start in March , August or November...I don't know when 2014 will start for me, but I will surely let you know :)
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Question-based learning
It was raining last time I was typing and it's raining again today... it means a lot of time has passed since my last post. There has been a hot summer and I've been quite busy running around my children and watching them grow, mumble and even walk their first steps. I've been turning myself into a little robot, waking up at 5 and doing nothing , but everything until 11 at night. I lost track of many things I used to watch or follow... today I found out Scott Thornbury has just changed his blog posts, basically started a new one and I am really interested in the new format and new teaching ideas he is ready to explore. I have so little time for reading that I have to run through the posts or flip through some pages... I sometimes get some teaching ideas and they never get down on paper, but I hope I can slowly get back to this kind of living too.
Not to lose my practice I still have some private classes that keep me updated and I can share some ideas with you.
Asking questions can sometimes be a good reinforcing exercise at any level, because it seems the hardest job for all my students. I would advise using this as many times as possible, especially because that's also the best way for a non-native speaker to understand the grammatical structures. We all know that the theoretical explanation it's just for academical purposes, in real life speaking comes fluently and naturally only if these "rules" are clearly understood and practiced long enough to become part of the current language the students are familiar with.
Only through questions we can set a more vivid learning environment, because we actually ask more than answer, curiosity is the one starting most of the conversations (think of the daily gossip). "How, where, why, what?" become the core of any dialogue. So here are some ideas for practicing question-asking:
- When starting a new lesson the students must be curious about the others latest "adventures" so we can simply start with each student being allowed to ask 2 "hot" questions related to his classmates daily life. This can usually make way for the Present simple, Present Perfect or Past Simple practice.
- "Your dreams" (Future Simple practice or Second Conditional for more advanced groups) can work if each student is asked to write some of his wildest dreams on a sheet of paper, then fold it and put it in a box, or a hat. Then the trick is for the classmates to find out whose piece of paper is being read aloud by the teacher.
- "Questions Jeopardy" can work very well for a revision lesson. The idea is to have the answer and request the question. It can be fun and tricky for most of the students. You can have answers such as last year, when you came, to Paris, to my mother, just for fun..., for many years, etc. I found this type of activity most rewarding in terms of grammar practice.
- "Stronger wins" can be a good game too. You need a long string or rope and number it like a ruler into as many parts as you fell like, split the class in two and have them play the pull the rope game, but in this case not using the physical force, but the "question power", that means if the 1st team asks a question gets to pull the rope towards them 10 centimeters( for example), the other teams needs to find a logical question that can follow the one the 1st team asked. If one team misses the question, the others get closer to the end of the rope. And the game goes on for as many questions the teacher sets the game for. It can be fun and challenging, because this game involves not only question phrasing but linking them into a coherent dialogue.
- For younger students the "Why?" game fits like a glove, because children naturally do that, asking as many "why"-s as they can. So play that too, set a topic or more and have the students compete by awarding the best number of questions asked on the chosen topic.
- "The alphabet game" can work for questions and high-level students because here you can also teach them linker-s, some words that help us phrase a question. I will give you an example : One student says the alphabet in his mind and the others say STOP. Let's say he stops at P. One student from the opposite team should phrase a question by starting with P. So he can say Perhaps I am allowed to ask you why you like so much scuba diving. If the alphabet counter stop of F, they can say For many years I have been wondering why you don't tell us your real name... This way the students are ready to phrase longer questions, indirect questions that are so much used in real life language.
These are some of the games I found well-working in class and I am sure there can be so many more. Hope it was useful and that I made you question yourselves about funny question-asking games that can be used as TEFL means :) Any other ideas are welcomed!
Not to lose my practice I still have some private classes that keep me updated and I can share some ideas with you.
Only through questions we can set a more vivid learning environment, because we actually ask more than answer, curiosity is the one starting most of the conversations (think of the daily gossip). "How, where, why, what?" become the core of any dialogue. So here are some ideas for practicing question-asking:
- When starting a new lesson the students must be curious about the others latest "adventures" so we can simply start with each student being allowed to ask 2 "hot" questions related to his classmates daily life. This can usually make way for the Present simple, Present Perfect or Past Simple practice.
- "Your dreams" (Future Simple practice or Second Conditional for more advanced groups) can work if each student is asked to write some of his wildest dreams on a sheet of paper, then fold it and put it in a box, or a hat. Then the trick is for the classmates to find out whose piece of paper is being read aloud by the teacher.
- "Questions Jeopardy" can work very well for a revision lesson. The idea is to have the answer and request the question. It can be fun and tricky for most of the students. You can have answers such as last year, when you came, to Paris, to my mother, just for fun..., for many years, etc. I found this type of activity most rewarding in terms of grammar practice.
- "Stronger wins" can be a good game too. You need a long string or rope and number it like a ruler into as many parts as you fell like, split the class in two and have them play the pull the rope game, but in this case not using the physical force, but the "question power", that means if the 1st team asks a question gets to pull the rope towards them 10 centimeters( for example), the other teams needs to find a logical question that can follow the one the 1st team asked. If one team misses the question, the others get closer to the end of the rope. And the game goes on for as many questions the teacher sets the game for. It can be fun and challenging, because this game involves not only question phrasing but linking them into a coherent dialogue.
- For younger students the "Why?" game fits like a glove, because children naturally do that, asking as many "why"-s as they can. So play that too, set a topic or more and have the students compete by awarding the best number of questions asked on the chosen topic.
- "The alphabet game" can work for questions and high-level students because here you can also teach them linker-s, some words that help us phrase a question. I will give you an example : One student says the alphabet in his mind and the others say STOP. Let's say he stops at P. One student from the opposite team should phrase a question by starting with P. So he can say Perhaps I am allowed to ask you why you like so much scuba diving. If the alphabet counter stop of F, they can say For many years I have been wondering why you don't tell us your real name... This way the students are ready to phrase longer questions, indirect questions that are so much used in real life language.
These are some of the games I found well-working in class and I am sure there can be so many more. Hope it was useful and that I made you question yourselves about funny question-asking games that can be used as TEFL means :) Any other ideas are welcomed!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Facebook and the rain... or viceversa
I guess this continuous rain got into my brains too, I feel my mind empty, numb, stuck into some kind of metallic stillness...I like spring (even though I'd rather have endless summer), but this spring got on my nerves... so many people say rain is poetical, rain reveals the depths of human soul, rain tells about the world better than the sun; maybe, but after weeks of cold and grey we all need some shades of orange and red and green...
... So I spend most of my time with my children and of course the magical Facebook. I was just thinking the other day how long I've been refusing to start an account on Facebook, firstly because I was scared it was like other social networks that linked me (through my friends) to all sort of curious, unwanted people; secondly, because I was under the impression there is nothing so interesting there, like there is no actual communication, there is no message going on...well I started the account because I wanted to keep contact with my friends and colleagues during my maternity leave and of course, show them pictures of my children (to make them live witnesses to their constant growing up) :)
The first question my husband asked when I showed him my account was : "and that's it, you just post pictures and people look at them and they hit the like button?"
"Well, basically, yes", I said.
Then it got me thinking... well, it's not just that... it is about hitting that like button but, by doing so, it's a way of turning alive into an inert world, it's the sign you exist, you are alive and kicking, it's the simple way of showing your interest in the others, of following their lives in a way we could never do in person...I found here my colleagues, my friends and I can monitor their lives from miles away... well that's amazing even the time of our lives facing each other, smiling at each other, touching each other... there are no more senses involved, but these bits of postcards, pictures and quotes we share from one another, and that's the way we understand how they feel: sad, angry, passionate, desperate... that's what we do, check the postcards and motivational pictures and we understand... then we hit LIKE (the most neutral form of showing our support and the fact that we actually share their thoughts and feeling) though it is terribly sad. There are so few instances when we get the time to enjoy real meetings and real life...
I have seen so much joy and pain shouted on Facebook and I could not stop thinking : If a guy walked in the street yelling : "I got married!" or " I'm broken! I wanna die" everyone would consider him a lunatic... here the moment we see this written we hit the like and appreciate his/her courage to tell the truth (we say).
We are all stuck to our desks and homes, we say it's social network, I would say it's the only free time-virtual time network, because if we had the time to go out and share our joys and pains with our friends, if we could spend hours searching clothes in the shops or wander around in search of a cheaper bag, or a cheaper piece of furniture,if we had the time to join themed-clubs and be present there every week to share ideas, advice or information, Facebook would now be just a network for teenagers in search for a partner...but no, our friends are not living close anymore, people get spread around the world, the office hours are longer and longer, the time has changed his face ... we are actually booking the face of time- that should be the definition of Facebook.
So I guess running away from a Facebook account is like going hunting and refusing the gun, no one can face the bear bare-handedly so eventually he will shout for a gun... or play dead :)
Here is a little piece of advice: try and reduce the Facebook to the ultimate means of revealing yourselves, make it a tool, not a purpose... we are human beings and we are terribly beautiful when we exist in real, no picture, no postcard or quote will ever speak our minds better than our eyes, hands and mouth...and there will never be a bigger joy than hugging a friend after 20 years even if you have liked his photos every day...no better joy than seeing your parents faces dropping tears of joy, even though you Skype-ed them every day and never a more genuine love than the kiss of your lover blowing a few hairs covering your face... or the smell of your child hugging you... I'm challenging Facebook to beat that !!!! :)
... So I spend most of my time with my children and of course the magical Facebook. I was just thinking the other day how long I've been refusing to start an account on Facebook, firstly because I was scared it was like other social networks that linked me (through my friends) to all sort of curious, unwanted people; secondly, because I was under the impression there is nothing so interesting there, like there is no actual communication, there is no message going on...well I started the account because I wanted to keep contact with my friends and colleagues during my maternity leave and of course, show them pictures of my children (to make them live witnesses to their constant growing up) :)
The first question my husband asked when I showed him my account was : "and that's it, you just post pictures and people look at them and they hit the like button?"
"Well, basically, yes", I said.
Then it got me thinking... well, it's not just that... it is about hitting that like button but, by doing so, it's a way of turning alive into an inert world, it's the sign you exist, you are alive and kicking, it's the simple way of showing your interest in the others, of following their lives in a way we could never do in person...I found here my colleagues, my friends and I can monitor their lives from miles away... well that's amazing even the time of our lives facing each other, smiling at each other, touching each other... there are no more senses involved, but these bits of postcards, pictures and quotes we share from one another, and that's the way we understand how they feel: sad, angry, passionate, desperate... that's what we do, check the postcards and motivational pictures and we understand... then we hit LIKE (the most neutral form of showing our support and the fact that we actually share their thoughts and feeling) though it is terribly sad. There are so few instances when we get the time to enjoy real meetings and real life...I have seen so much joy and pain shouted on Facebook and I could not stop thinking : If a guy walked in the street yelling : "I got married!" or " I'm broken! I wanna die" everyone would consider him a lunatic... here the moment we see this written we hit the like and appreciate his/her courage to tell the truth (we say).
We are all stuck to our desks and homes, we say it's social network, I would say it's the only free time-virtual time network, because if we had the time to go out and share our joys and pains with our friends, if we could spend hours searching clothes in the shops or wander around in search of a cheaper bag, or a cheaper piece of furniture,if we had the time to join themed-clubs and be present there every week to share ideas, advice or information, Facebook would now be just a network for teenagers in search for a partner...but no, our friends are not living close anymore, people get spread around the world, the office hours are longer and longer, the time has changed his face ... we are actually booking the face of time- that should be the definition of Facebook.
So I guess running away from a Facebook account is like going hunting and refusing the gun, no one can face the bear bare-handedly so eventually he will shout for a gun... or play dead :)
Here is a little piece of advice: try and reduce the Facebook to the ultimate means of revealing yourselves, make it a tool, not a purpose... we are human beings and we are terribly beautiful when we exist in real, no picture, no postcard or quote will ever speak our minds better than our eyes, hands and mouth...and there will never be a bigger joy than hugging a friend after 20 years even if you have liked his photos every day...no better joy than seeing your parents faces dropping tears of joy, even though you Skype-ed them every day and never a more genuine love than the kiss of your lover blowing a few hairs covering your face... or the smell of your child hugging you... I'm challenging Facebook to beat that !!!! :)
Monday, February 11, 2013
Motherhood
Yes, I delivered my babies on a winter morning without even dreaming that was THE day...writing and chatting with a friend until 3 in the morning and then at 7 it just happened, my little ones stopped waiting, wanted to come out and do their way in this world... And it was NOTHING I imagined, everything was completely different from what I had previously thought. I was sure I will stay in the hospital for a few days... well I stayed 2 weeks... I was sure I will handle everything by my own... it was so wrong I got frustrated and scared and in need of so much help. I was dreaming myself breastfeeding but I could not have that wonderful feeling (only for a moment one snowy evening and that was all).When I finally got home I got help from my mom and then I was alone for a week... :) handling twins is no joke and when I thought I slowly got the hint, they got sick and I was back in hospital for 2 more weeks...
I could see so much suffering and courage that I have never imagined it could actually exist in this world... I saw young parents coming to the hospital to feed their sick (undergoing surgeries) baby every 3 hour (and they have done this for 4 months)... but they were happy and considered all the tiredness and suffering just steps before finally sharing all their life with their baby, hoping to be well and forget all the bad things. I realized my problems were just nothing compared to theirs.
I made friends...real mothers I had so much to learn from and I thank them for this
Being a mother changes everything and well it's not all smiles and happiness...it is so much more that I cannot express in proper words. One should be ready to face herself in a different mirror, to change the way and learn to become that person the children need: fearless, fresh and happy when deep inside the opposite happens and yes it is challenging.
Of course it is beautiful and rewarding like nothing else in this world and it's true the smile of your baby makes your day and erases all the bad and the dark. But behind this there is a real struggle a woman faces by herself, 'cause only she can deal with what her soul cries, asks, wonders and faces...
Maybe it's only me but the day I stepped out holding my husband elbow (first time away from the kids) in the street I had the vague feeling I once lived a different life (a job, friends, love life, real life), a life I cannot come back to anymore, a life I have to change and learn how to start a new one, reinvent myself as responsible for the lives of my babies (and that's big, trust me). I panicked many times and I was on the verge of losing myself, but I had to come to my senses for them... I guess that's why mothers become stronger and that's why they look so powerful and I hope one day I will call myself a MOTHER... like my own mother who amazed me with the patience, endurance and love she surrounded me with...
Until then, motherhood is for me an ongoing process and the feed-back can only be found so many years later, in another time and world...
I could see so much suffering and courage that I have never imagined it could actually exist in this world... I saw young parents coming to the hospital to feed their sick (undergoing surgeries) baby every 3 hour (and they have done this for 4 months)... but they were happy and considered all the tiredness and suffering just steps before finally sharing all their life with their baby, hoping to be well and forget all the bad things. I realized my problems were just nothing compared to theirs.
I made friends...real mothers I had so much to learn from and I thank them for this
Being a mother changes everything and well it's not all smiles and happiness...it is so much more that I cannot express in proper words. One should be ready to face herself in a different mirror, to change the way and learn to become that person the children need: fearless, fresh and happy when deep inside the opposite happens and yes it is challenging.Of course it is beautiful and rewarding like nothing else in this world and it's true the smile of your baby makes your day and erases all the bad and the dark. But behind this there is a real struggle a woman faces by herself, 'cause only she can deal with what her soul cries, asks, wonders and faces...
Maybe it's only me but the day I stepped out holding my husband elbow (first time away from the kids) in the street I had the vague feeling I once lived a different life (a job, friends, love life, real life), a life I cannot come back to anymore, a life I have to change and learn how to start a new one, reinvent myself as responsible for the lives of my babies (and that's big, trust me). I panicked many times and I was on the verge of losing myself, but I had to come to my senses for them... I guess that's why mothers become stronger and that's why they look so powerful and I hope one day I will call myself a MOTHER... like my own mother who amazed me with the patience, endurance and love she surrounded me with...
Until then, motherhood is for me an ongoing process and the feed-back can only be found so many years later, in another time and world...
Monday, November 26, 2012
Officially home...
It's been a while... There have been so many changes that I had to take time and swallow everything, try to understand or get accustomed to the new ME. I am officially waiting for my babies to come to the light, in simple words, on the maternity leave. It has a been some time since I had such a long break and one thing I realized: I will never be a housewife! I just can't! I have to admit I miss my working place, my students, I miss teaching already... 'Cause I said before I don't imagine myself doing anything else but teaching.
But now it's different, now I am in a different stage of my life and, as all mothers say, I am in the happiest stage of my life. And I do have dreams and I also have nightmares: "what if" is the common question for my nights. I tried picturing myself in the hospital theater, thinking how I will hear the doctors speaking about the pregnancy , about me, discussing what they see (????!!!!!), me, half-asleep there listening, not replying... then I try to picture them (what will they look like, will they be safe and sound?), then me in bed waiting to see if I can move, some strangers surrounding me, washing me, voices, laughter, cries.... this must be the hospital atmosphere... and this is what runs through my mind all these nights.
But the good parts- because there are good parts too- revolve mainly around the free time I haven't had in such a long time and a sort of time-out I was longing for.
It's nice to have time for yourself, to think a bit longer and maybe ask yourself questions...it is a good exercise and it can reveal many unsolved or unanswered issues. There have been a few interesting things I discovered: human nature is a continuous mystery and the more you try to understand some people the faster you will fail in your attempt, because we are that different...there are always things that one's mind cannot understand or accept about his fellow human (there are sometimes miles away and basic differences that cannot help us into understanding), so we have to let go and live without interfering...that's the conclusion I came to.Another thing: friendship is very important, and even if the older we get the more we refuse that noisy partying atmosphere among friends, we all need to know, at least, that we have, out there in the world, some people we can rely on, some people we think love us and trust us and would come for our help when needed. It is true that true friends are so few and so hard to find, but we need to have these few people in our lives...
I started reading a very interesting book Andrei Plesu, Parabolele lui Iisus, I would recommend it to anyone interested in a wonderfully-written analysis of the biblical sayings, a more philosophical approach, far away from the crappy no-name explanations we have been used to lately.
I could also watch (a simple coincidence with the book genre) a wonderful film Beyond the hills. It has everything: drama, love, deep analysis of the soul, simple and professional acting, keeps you present, the sort of image and idea you need to come back to and ask yourself questions, the basic definition of a good film.
I listen to a lot of music...classical, dance, reggae and it makes me happy...
I am planning on working some teaching materials and when I have some good ones I will share them with you.
Until next time, have a good and peaceful life!
But now it's different, now I am in a different stage of my life and, as all mothers say, I am in the happiest stage of my life. And I do have dreams and I also have nightmares: "what if" is the common question for my nights. I tried picturing myself in the hospital theater, thinking how I will hear the doctors speaking about the pregnancy , about me, discussing what they see (????!!!!!), me, half-asleep there listening, not replying... then I try to picture them (what will they look like, will they be safe and sound?), then me in bed waiting to see if I can move, some strangers surrounding me, washing me, voices, laughter, cries.... this must be the hospital atmosphere... and this is what runs through my mind all these nights.
But the good parts- because there are good parts too- revolve mainly around the free time I haven't had in such a long time and a sort of time-out I was longing for.It's nice to have time for yourself, to think a bit longer and maybe ask yourself questions...it is a good exercise and it can reveal many unsolved or unanswered issues. There have been a few interesting things I discovered: human nature is a continuous mystery and the more you try to understand some people the faster you will fail in your attempt, because we are that different...there are always things that one's mind cannot understand or accept about his fellow human (there are sometimes miles away and basic differences that cannot help us into understanding), so we have to let go and live without interfering...that's the conclusion I came to.Another thing: friendship is very important, and even if the older we get the more we refuse that noisy partying atmosphere among friends, we all need to know, at least, that we have, out there in the world, some people we can rely on, some people we think love us and trust us and would come for our help when needed. It is true that true friends are so few and so hard to find, but we need to have these few people in our lives...
I started reading a very interesting book Andrei Plesu, Parabolele lui Iisus, I would recommend it to anyone interested in a wonderfully-written analysis of the biblical sayings, a more philosophical approach, far away from the crappy no-name explanations we have been used to lately.
I could also watch (a simple coincidence with the book genre) a wonderful film Beyond the hills. It has everything: drama, love, deep analysis of the soul, simple and professional acting, keeps you present, the sort of image and idea you need to come back to and ask yourself questions, the basic definition of a good film.
I listen to a lot of music...classical, dance, reggae and it makes me happy...
I am planning on working some teaching materials and when I have some good ones I will share them with you.
Until next time, have a good and peaceful life!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
A matter of time...
At first it seemed so hard to share the space in the same closet, then is seemed hard to clean the table after the meal because they (aka men) would never do that unless they are told, then it seemed hard to see the "other face", the angry face and, even worse, witness your own transformation from the gentle princess into the ugly duck quacking around because things were supposed to be different, then it became even harder to understand the long moments of unexplained silence or the lack of constant attention that you (aka gentle princess) were used to receiving at the beginning. But all these small "adventures" are the signature of a normal, sane marriage, I believe. These are the initiation steps we all need to make on our path to being together as a couple. Then things magically change, because We Change, we graduate and adjust our own existence that has now a totally different contour.
And then a day comes when we celebrate the first, the second, hopefully the 30th year together and I am sure each time we have the nostalgia of our constant learning more and more about who we are. And that is a good thing, because there is no other place we have the right to be ourselves, but our home. There we scream, we laugh, we make love and we cry, but our home ( the place we live together, no matter how big or small the place might be) is also the most genuine form of human existence. Intimacy is a great word, but I do worship the idea- nothing else should interfere in this inner world of our family- it should stay a private matter that only WE can solve, enjoy and live through.
So I celebrate two years from my existence and I am happy. There have been so many beautiful things happening:
- I met wonderful people
-I have had a good job, I have done exactly what I like most in this world
-I traveled a lot and I gathered precious memories with my friends and colleagues at the same time
- I learned from my mistakes and I hope I became a more experienced person
-I went to my best friends' weddings and I smiled and shared their happiness
- I could hold my friends and shared their sorrows, then again I could feel their own happiness when things got solved
-I was surrounded by love for which I am deeply grateful to God
- I am to be a mother- no words to explain how I feel
- I have a husband I should thank to for patience and love and support
-I had to see some of my friends take different paths, I had to face the change but I also learned that change is good and I am sure they will be happy on their way because I trust their power and their faith.
- I re-discovered my long lost friends and found out how much their lives have changed and how much they are still the ones I knew there deep inside.
So, yes, time flies and there are good moments and bad moments, but I would really love to think about the bright side, the good things, because we have one life, one chance and in our life story we must cling on those facts and people and memories that makes us go on and give us the reason to live.
I guess marriage and life are the simple boats that need a lot of mending but can lead us to the shore, not the fancy yachts sinking at the first blow.It's a matter of choice and faith.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Waiting...
Who said hope makes the difference? I don't know but it's the only thing I have. So how does it work? Strangely. Why do we always search for answers when we know there are none? Why do we stop, kneel and pray when we know it's the ultimate choice?Why do we need to learn all important things "the hard way", as most say?
I know you all must have had these kind of downs, and I know the greatest pain is your own. But the worst part I have ever lived is waiting..., knowing everything is somewhere, the answers are there (whether we like them or not) and that immediately after getting the answer, you still need to go on living...that's the ugly beauty of life.
Waiting takes a hell of a time and it takes a lot of energy too. So you find yourself living a thousand faces for each and every person you are talking, trying to find strength and meaning for your own way of going on, imagining scenarios of what could and should be after, but the funny part is: you will never know for sure. There are billion of seconds in this waiting that you must fill with daily chores and words and greetings and eating and sleeping. But nothing looks the same.So, yes, I see myself from the outside, I am the watcher of my own living, but I am not there. I try to cope with building up another me (in the worst case scenario), be strong (there are so many definitions for this). Think positive is my favorite line. Well I guess and I hope there is some meaning in this, but it's strangely put when the outcome can be a total disaster. Sounds like Murphy's laws, when you think nothing can go worse, it can.
So I can only type here, blubbering about my own confusion, hoping and maybe watching into the screen as if looking into the only mirror capable of reflecting the entire turmoil shading my image.
I learn how to stand still, waiting... (don't try this at home!)
I know you all must have had these kind of downs, and I know the greatest pain is your own. But the worst part I have ever lived is waiting..., knowing everything is somewhere, the answers are there (whether we like them or not) and that immediately after getting the answer, you still need to go on living...that's the ugly beauty of life.
Waiting takes a hell of a time and it takes a lot of energy too. So you find yourself living a thousand faces for each and every person you are talking, trying to find strength and meaning for your own way of going on, imagining scenarios of what could and should be after, but the funny part is: you will never know for sure. There are billion of seconds in this waiting that you must fill with daily chores and words and greetings and eating and So I can only type here, blubbering about my own confusion, hoping and maybe watching into the screen as if looking into the only mirror capable of reflecting the entire turmoil shading my image.
I learn how to stand still, waiting... (don't try this at home!)
Saturday, September 8, 2012
All that you have is your soul...
Haven't you ever felt that the more you struggle the more difficult it becomes to gain something? How come for some of us everything is damn difficult and for others is so damn easy? Is it luck or fortune? Is is something special that some are born with?
And the worst part is that even if you wrestle with all the problems, the final achievement is never guaranteed. Some say it's all about the fight...life itself seems so be a continuous struggle to become a better person, have better things, live in better conditions. But do we all come across the meaning of all that? Does it have a meaning? I heard many times God is just giving us all the troubles to strengthen us, to make us aware of all the inner power we possess. It might be so, it should be so, still it is too challenging and depressing sometimes, it is some sort of pain we don't want to go through.
I could never cheat at my exams. I just didn't feel it right. My mother taught me that each small achievement has to be done with a moral attitude, because winning something by fake or by cheat is wrong and shameful. Then she told me that if I study hard life will offer me the credit I deserve, that I could have a decent life, win more money and offer my children a better life. Really?! I am wondering every day: do all these shameless bastards with no knowledge, no respect for the elders, for life or for themselves had a moral behavior for all the fortune and fame they show off with every day? Do these bimbo-es smiling with a dumb face and having no other qualities but their naked body had to struggle for their villas and high-life?
Don't get me wrong...I don't really want a luxurious car or a huge house...I want a decent life and, trust me, in Romania is very difficult to have that by hard work and wits.I would love to offer my children the possibility to see some important cities in the world, to buy them quality food, nice toys, nice clothes, good education in a very good school. But even enrolling your child to a good school is a real struggle. There are hours of waiting in front of headmasters offices, start preparing papers 2 years ahead, talk to all the people involved, pay someattention to the cleaning lady ('cause she knows how stuff works in that school) and in the end there is nothing about knowledge...the selection has nothing to do with the child' abilities, vocations or desires. It's just a way of branding a good school by having only rich kids studying there. And we are not even close those famous private schools we find abroad, where there are rich people contributing for the school, but even the school provides the best accommodation, best teachers, best future perspectives. No, here the story is so much different: the more you study the bigger loser you are seen and the less work opportunities you have; the more you inject drugs and spend your rich daddy's money on drinks and women the higher you step on the social ladder.
I can cope with that too, but I would really love to think that all this creepy social and moral situation might change in the future, that we, as society, have a chance.
I heard our president advising young students, freshly finishing their studies to leave the country and find better jobs abroad. And then they ask about patriotism, about wrestling for your own country. Why? What for? I am very much aware that if we stay here and work in our own country, create our own products and buy them we help the national economy,thus providing a better life for ourselves and our children. I also know the change has to start from us, from each of us, by means of educating ourselves into finding resources, life long education and flexibility in the job market. And I am sure most of the people my age do that. Still it has become harder and harder to find or keep a proper and decent job. And that's sad...
I was reading some nice and quite inspiring quotes about wrestling and I have always agreed that "without the pain there is no gain", but how come there can be so much gain without any pain? That's my question. And yes, maybe "the art of living is more like wrestling than dancing" (Marcus Aurelius), but can't we just dream that one day we will be allowed to dance as a celebration of this continuous wrestling?
And to sweeten a bit my bitter tone I am just going to dedicate this wonderful song to all of you who sometimes share my worries:
I could never cheat at my exams. I just didn't feel it right. My mother taught me that each small achievement has to be done with a moral attitude, because winning something by fake or by cheat is wrong and shameful. Then she told me that if I study hard life will offer me the credit I deserve, that I could have a decent life, win more money and offer my children a better life. Really?! I am wondering every day: do all these shameless bastards with no knowledge, no respect for the elders, for life or for themselves had a moral behavior for all the fortune and fame they show off with every day? Do these bimbo-es smiling with a dumb face and having no other qualities but their naked body had to struggle for their villas and high-life?
Don't get me wrong...I don't really want a luxurious car or a huge house...I want a decent life and, trust me, in Romania is very difficult to have that by hard work and wits.I would love to offer my children the possibility to see some important cities in the world, to buy them quality food, nice toys, nice clothes, good education in a very good school. But even enrolling your child to a good school is a real struggle. There are hours of waiting in front of headmasters offices, start preparing papers 2 years ahead, talk to all the people involved, pay some
I can cope with that too, but I would really love to think that all this creepy social and moral situation might change in the future, that we, as society, have a chance.
I heard our president advising young students, freshly finishing their studies to leave the country and find better jobs abroad. And then they ask about patriotism, about wrestling for your own country. Why? What for? I am very much aware that if we stay here and work in our own country, create our own products and buy them we help the national economy,thus providing a better life for ourselves and our children. I also know the change has to start from us, from each of us, by means of educating ourselves into finding resources, life long education and flexibility in the job market. And I am sure most of the people my age do that. Still it has become harder and harder to find or keep a proper and decent job. And that's sad...
I was reading some nice and quite inspiring quotes about wrestling and I have always agreed that "without the pain there is no gain", but how come there can be so much gain without any pain? That's my question. And yes, maybe "the art of living is more like wrestling than dancing" (Marcus Aurelius), but can't we just dream that one day we will be allowed to dance as a celebration of this continuous wrestling?
And to sweeten a bit my bitter tone I am just going to dedicate this wonderful song to all of you who sometimes share my worries:
Monday, September 3, 2012
Music to my ears...
There are things I really like hearing or listening to. There are so many little things that have become "music to my ears".
Yes, as you might have thought, I love listening to music, good music, old music, romantic and passionate rhythm, a mixture of softness and power, the type of sound Mozart has in his works (for example) or, on the other hand, Janis Joplin. But that's just the beginning...
I have discovered I like the sound of water filling the coffee kettle in the morning and the way the
teaspoon chirps while stirring the 3/4 milk and 1/4 coffee I am now allowed to drink.
I love my mother's voice at the other end of the telephone line (this is as close as I can get to her these days); she can still bring me back to life and give me some confidence when I stop seeing the silver lining of the dark approaching clouds...
I learned I can sometimes even like my hubby's snoring, especially while trying to work on something in the middle of the night :) (it's not his fault I have this damn insomnia).
I love hearing the word baby/ies (this word has a magical effect on my brain: I suddenly think of my own and even if I get a little worried hoping everything would be fine, I still feel some kind of euphoria like I have just come out from a relaxing massage)
I always enjoy listening to good jokes, written ones or those nice moments I share with my friends and colleagues at work; it's nice to be surrounded by people who can come up with great creative ideas or ways of dodging the narrow-minded stream ...
I like listening to funny good news and sometimes some science news; I am interested in the technological innovations, especially because I can't help admiring the creativity of the modern century scientists; those type of news you can actually learn something from.
I fancy eavesdropping strangers in the street, those fragments of lines people let behind like some trails on the beach sand. It's interesting that you become witness to their private unknown life and you would never find out the outcome of their problems or dreams or plans. You can re-create or guess it, but you will never know for sure. That's when I feel embarrassed thinking of my high pitch voice when walking and talking at the same time, sometimes arguing or naming things and people I shouldn't.
I love listening to my friends and I thank God I have a few good friends I can share my life with.
I am sure the no.1 sound is yet to be discovered: I am definitely eager to hear the sound of my babies, their mumbles, their cries, their happiness and pray their voices fill my life...with some meaning...
I have discovered I like the sound of water filling the coffee kettle in the morning and the way the
teaspoon chirps while stirring the 3/4 milk and 1/4 coffee I am now allowed to drink.
I love my mother's voice at the other end of the telephone line (this is as close as I can get to her these days); she can still bring me back to life and give me some confidence when I stop seeing the silver lining of the dark approaching clouds...
I learned I can sometimes even like my hubby's snoring, especially while trying to work on something in the middle of the night :) (it's not his fault I have this damn insomnia).
I love hearing the word baby/ies (this word has a magical effect on my brain: I suddenly think of my own and even if I get a little worried hoping everything would be fine, I still feel some kind of euphoria like I have just come out from a relaxing massage)
I always enjoy listening to good jokes, written ones or those nice moments I share with my friends and colleagues at work; it's nice to be surrounded by people who can come up with great creative ideas or ways of dodging the narrow-minded stream ...
I like listening to funny good news and sometimes some science news; I am interested in the technological innovations, especially because I can't help admiring the creativity of the modern century scientists; those type of news you can actually learn something from.
I fancy eavesdropping strangers in the street, those fragments of lines people let behind like some trails on the beach sand. It's interesting that you become witness to their private unknown life and you would never find out the outcome of their problems or dreams or plans. You can re-create or guess it, but you will never know for sure. That's when I feel embarrassed thinking of my high pitch voice when walking and talking at the same time, sometimes arguing or naming things and people I shouldn't.
I love listening to my friends and I thank God I have a few good friends I can share my life with.
I am sure the no.1 sound is yet to be discovered: I am definitely eager to hear the sound of my babies, their mumbles, their cries, their happiness and pray their voices fill my life...with some meaning...
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
As a matter of fact...
"Curiosity killed the cat" some say. Others continue "but the cat had seven lives". I have a question:
Is curiosity a sign of wits or it is just a constant annoying ability/quality some people have or would like to possess? I have been watching some TV lately and I noticed people are very much interested in all sorts of facts, the most attractive ones seem to be mysteries (undiscovered or secret facts), then crimes or paranormal activities (especially because they are hidden and after many years someone is ready to tell the truth). I could also notice the way some TV shows attract more and more audience just by being as dirty, as violent, as mean and as stupid as possible. If those shows have the label of reality show or real life based stories they break all rating records. And this vicious circle keeps on rolling: the more audience they get, the more they broadcast and that's the way everything goes.
I do miss interesting stuff on TV. I miss watching an entertainment show without seeing some retarded people invited there, manipulated and made fun of just for the pleasure of others. I miss watching a talk-show where the participants/politicians do want to send a message, maybe talk about future plans, ideas and solutions and stop coming there just to attack the other with total lack of respect, show their muscles as if by feeling the force (like in Star Wars) the electors will appreciate them and, of course, vote for theirbrains.I do miss hearing a piece of advice based on real facts, maybe real researches, not on excessively motivational messages that have, indeed, overrun all other form of knowledge. There is life besides motivational books. I have nothing against those type of messages, they can be quite helpful sometimes. But not in all aspects of life, not in every little situation and not written by semi-educated people who pretend to have great life experience or even possess some special powers.I had the chance to hear a few enlightened orators and I need to admit they couldn't really convince me. And what I hate the most is that these orators just take advantage of the human misery and lack of hope, people's despair in search for some sense and balance in their life. The answers are in the real facts about life, the great books, the great scientists, writers or philosophers who spent their life searching and analyzing all these aspects; they should be the first-hand knowledge base. Let's just think of Chekhov, Einstein, Kant, Homer, Plato and so many others. If you ask me, we should all start reading motivational books only after we would have gone through at least 20 % of these writings.
Anyways I miss quality information on TV. Of course you will all say there is Discovery Channel, History Channel, Nature Channel, Discovery Science and so on. I agree.But the problem is there are still more shows that explore the flaws and misery and need of exceptional that shapes somehow the human nature. And even if there is Internet, books, other means of acquiring information, TV still has the upper hand.
And we come back to curiosity. Can we learn how to use this quality into our benefit? Is there an easy way to learn about amazing facts that are appealing just by the information they consist of? How do we separate spectacular from really useful? That's intriguing.
If we spend some time watching children at play, we will see that,when they are little, they only learn or listen to relevant stories, they are interested in a message, a finality, they need to understand the usage of the presented objects or facts. Why do we stop doing so after some time? Has this world become so twisted? There is still hope, I know people who would still be interested in learning facts and not empty words, but there must be a way to outnumber the ones who prefer the easy way out. But what's the way? This is the question...
I do miss interesting stuff on TV. I miss watching an entertainment show without seeing some retarded people invited there, manipulated and made fun of just for the pleasure of others. I miss watching a talk-show where the participants/politicians do want to send a message, maybe talk about future plans, ideas and solutions and stop coming there just to attack the other with total lack of respect, show their muscles as if by feeling the force (like in Star Wars) the electors will appreciate them and, of course, vote for their
Anyways I miss quality information on TV. Of course you will all say there is Discovery Channel, History Channel, Nature Channel, Discovery Science and so on. I agree.But the problem is there are still more shows that explore the flaws and misery and need of exceptional that shapes somehow the human nature. And even if there is Internet, books, other means of acquiring information, TV still has the upper hand.
And we come back to curiosity. Can we learn how to use this quality into our benefit? Is there an easy way to learn about amazing facts that are appealing just by the information they consist of? How do we separate spectacular from really useful? That's intriguing.
If we spend some time watching children at play, we will see that,when they are little, they only learn or listen to relevant stories, they are interested in a message, a finality, they need to understand the usage of the presented objects or facts. Why do we stop doing so after some time? Has this world become so twisted? There is still hope, I know people who would still be interested in learning facts and not empty words, but there must be a way to outnumber the ones who prefer the easy way out. But what's the way? This is the question...
Saturday, August 25, 2012
A slice of...laughter
It often takes time and courage to share a smile, or use a sincere smile during a fight instead of a sharp word. It might be harder than we imagine at a first glance.I consider it a real struggle between the child inside and the social mask we all put on to be accepted and appreciated. I was often considered childish (not that I really mind people thinking so), maybe superficial, unable to take on responsibilities, showing too much disponibility, or on the contrary, lacking ability to learn the deeper meanings of life. I need to contradict those who think by laughing or smiling, by showing a happy face we can only be seen as mere "comedians", aimless people or easygoing. I love this quote: " Man is nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play" (Heraclitus). I think it says it all... Secondly, being a professional comedian needs wits, skills, lots of hard work and a huge talent. One of the most beautiful and challenging profession...make people listen to you, accept their flaws and laugh from the heart...I remember watching Stan and Ollie when I was little and the happiness they brought each time I could see their "fights", then I discovered some wonderful stand up comedy actors and understood a different type of humour. Watching some of the most popular comedians, each with their unique style it's like sitting in a big room where Life broadcasts the every day show. I remember Paul Auster' "Book of Illusions" and how wonderfully black&white comedy bits manage to change the life of the main character, how laughter transforms his deserted soul into a seeker and a fan of the real comedy of life.
But a remarkable film, mainly based on pantomime, a sort of bitter humour can be seen in RUMBA
(the story of a couple very fond of rumba, who need to reinvent their life after a car accident) needs no words. It has got everything, I would even call it a sample of intelligent humorous work of art... Enjoy:
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Babies...in our life
Finally it's high time I spoke about life during pregnancy:) Does life change after all?Definitely, yes!
Let me tell you the basic steps:
Step 1
"What?!OMG! It's real, the 2 red lines! Hmmmm...I need another one just to make sure" then look around, pretend things are normal, go to sleep and...have no sleep, eyes wide open, thinking; a long row of maybes ready to be counted instead of sheep...
Step 2
"Yes, indeed, you are pregnant!" the doctor says "and you have got twins" another set of eyes wide open, things you have never imagined are now simply flooding your life...
Step 3
"Wearing this and doing this and eating this is a MUST, if you really want your babies to be healthy and grow up in perfect harmony"- the advice stage...that's overwhelming, absolutely tiring and sometimes annoying. And less and less people want to hear the doctor's advice,no, they know better, they heard more, they can even teach your doctor how to take care of you. Or there might be a global medical conspiracy ready to hide the truth from you, the hidden truth that only the Wise can properly seek for and unravel it to your tangled inexperienced mind.
Step 4
"I must relax, I need to calm down,I can't act like a fool, I am to be a mother, I am to be a mother, and what exactly does this mean?!" That's when your brain starts showing signs of proper activity,that's when you (and not the others) become interested in what pregnancy means for your body, heart and mind. It's a cool down stage, a sort of coming to terms with all this changes and fuss turmoil, coming back to your self.
It feels good, refreshing, it's, I guess, the time of joy,, pure joy that slowly invades every little piece of you, because now you added something to the person you used to be, you are ready to know more, to feel stronger, to prove better...
Step 5
...the real you resurfaces...and then you start finding out INTERESTING STUFF, reading about anything that might come in handy, even being able to present your experienced advice to those barely reaching step 1...:)
The fact is I have come across an interesting article you should all know about, related to working hours effects on pregnancy. I am a part of that world where having a job is more than a citizen's duty, it's a must (luckily I do have a job I enjoy performing), a mandatory act, a constant struggle for a decent life. So, yes there are less breaks and no fixed schedule, basically a lot of stress. But working under stress for a long period of time becomes a routine, you don't feel the pressure so much, you might even start liking it (some sort of Stockholm syndrome where Work is the captor). It has become harder and harder for women to decide when to draw the line between work and time for children, both being equally important, the first because nothing can be achieved without material sustainability, the latter, needless to say, the one single reasonable achievement in a person's life. That is why I admire all these women-focused organizations, all the help that is offered to mothers-to-be in finding time for themselves, organizing and planning the working hours, managing to set the balance needed for a healthy life.
Everything changes, some things stay the same, but the most important thing is to surround yourselves with the right people, get the help and love you need, drop all unnecessary litter and enjoy every second of this new life. It's definitely worth it!
Due to placing myself at the middle of the stages I was talking about in the above, I need to come back with further information and finish the pregnancy steps.
See you soon,
Step 1
"What?!OMG! It's real, the 2 red lines! Hmmmm...I need another one just to make sure" then look around, pretend things are normal, go to sleep and...have no sleep, eyes wide open, thinking; a long row of maybes ready to be counted instead of sheep...
Step 2
"Yes, indeed, you are pregnant!" the doctor says "and you have got twins" another set of eyes wide open, things you have never imagined are now simply flooding your life...
Step 3
"Wearing this and doing this and eating this is a MUST, if you really want your babies to be healthy and grow up in perfect harmony"- the advice stage...that's overwhelming, absolutely tiring and sometimes annoying. And less and less people want to hear the doctor's advice,no, they know better, they heard more, they can even teach your doctor how to take care of you. Or there might be a global medical conspiracy ready to hide the truth from you, the hidden truth that only the Wise can properly seek for and unravel it to your tangled inexperienced mind.
Step 4
"I must relax, I need to calm down,I can't act like a fool, I am to be a mother, I am to be a mother, and what exactly does this mean?!" That's when your brain starts showing signs of proper activity,that's when you (and not the others) become interested in what pregnancy means for your body, heart and mind. It's a cool down stage, a sort of coming to terms with all this changes and fuss turmoil, coming back to your self.
It feels good, refreshing, it's, I guess, the time of joy,, pure joy that slowly invades every little piece of you, because now you added something to the person you used to be, you are ready to know more, to feel stronger, to prove better...
Step 5
...the real you resurfaces...and then you start finding out INTERESTING STUFF, reading about anything that might come in handy, even being able to present your experienced advice to those barely reaching step 1...:)
The fact is I have come across an interesting article you should all know about, related to working hours effects on pregnancy. I am a part of that world where having a job is more than a citizen's duty, it's a must (luckily I do have a job I enjoy performing), a mandatory act, a constant struggle for a decent life. So, yes there are less breaks and no fixed schedule, basically a lot of stress. But working under stress for a long period of time becomes a routine, you don't feel the pressure so much, you might even start liking it (some sort of Stockholm syndrome where Work is the captor). It has become harder and harder for women to decide when to draw the line between work and time for children, both being equally important, the first because nothing can be achieved without material sustainability, the latter, needless to say, the one single reasonable achievement in a person's life. That is why I admire all these women-focused organizations, all the help that is offered to mothers-to-be in finding time for themselves, organizing and planning the working hours, managing to set the balance needed for a healthy life.
Everything changes, some things stay the same, but the most important thing is to surround yourselves with the right people, get the help and love you need, drop all unnecessary litter and enjoy every second of this new life. It's definitely worth it!
Due to placing myself at the middle of the stages I was talking about in the above, I need to come back with further information and finish the pregnancy steps.
See you soon,
Friday, August 17, 2012
Problems...sleeping?
Are you proud of your sleeping habits?Do you manage to sleep 8 hours a night? Do you like falling asleep with the aid of TV?Do you fall asleep right on the keyboard...and wake up on the sofa? These are just a few questions that we could ask related to the way sleep can affect the efficiency of our daily life.
I am not at all a role-model in terms of sleeping for anyone and I could call myself a night bird, a TV addicted (especially before sleeping), a constant seeker for those hours of perfect and sane sleep.
I can't remember the best sleep I have ever had, but I do remember the struggle...
Ever since I was a child, there were nights I had to stand up from the bed and find something to do just to ease my body aches due to lack of proper sleep. Now that I am a grown-up I sometimes do the same.Well I can't actually complain, some of these nights were perfect for a piece of writing (a short-story, maybe a poem), I even managed to finish my University diploma working at nights. But I guess the moment I considered lack of sleep a card up my sleeve was when I got hired for my present job. The question was: "Are you willing to work in the evenings, sometimes up to 9, 9:30 pm?".No need to cite my answer, you might have already guessed the excitement. That's when I start living...
Even if I should be grateful to my body for staying alive and functioning well after these night adventures, I am scared to think of the long-term effects. Just the other day, I came across some interesting facts related to sleep problems or explanations for these anomalies and I can now consider the site a great SLEEP RESOURCE for those of you in search of answers. Let me give just a few hints, and start with a famous phrase:
Did you know that..
-beauty treatments have a greater effect if you sleep for 7-8 hours a night, or that proper sleep helps your heart and make you live longer?
-by giving the body proper rest you actually keep the pounds from adding on your tights?
-tests have been developed to measure the sleep eficiency and that the efficiency ratio is an important tool for doctors when diagnosing the pacient sleep disorder?
-there are sleep disorders (such as sleep apnea,insomnia or poor sleep hygiene) we might have without even knowing?
-nowadays we can purchase fire-retardant sleepware for kids; clothes that can limit the spread of fire if there is one?
-depression can also be linked to sleep disorders or changes in sleeping patterns?
The bottom line is that most of us neglect this aspect of daily life, especially teenagers who prove their worth by the non-sleep hours spent playing games or chatting on the Internet.
"Tell me how you sleep...and I will tell you who you are" could become as relevant as its more famous counterpart.
Wishing you a sound sleep...
I am not at all a role-model in terms of sleeping for anyone and I could call myself a night bird, a TV addicted (especially before sleeping), a constant seeker for those hours of perfect and sane sleep.
I can't remember the best sleep I have ever had, but I do remember the struggle...
Ever since I was a child, there were nights I had to stand up from the bed and find something to do just to ease my body aches due to lack of proper sleep. Now that I am a grown-up I sometimes do the same.Well I can't actually complain, some of these nights were perfect for a piece of writing (a short-story, maybe a poem), I even managed to finish my University diploma working at nights. But I guess the moment I considered lack of sleep a card up my sleeve was when I got hired for my present job. The question was: "Are you willing to work in the evenings, sometimes up to 9, 9:30 pm?".No need to cite my answer, you might have already guessed the excitement. That's when I start living...Even if I should be grateful to my body for staying alive and functioning well after these night adventures, I am scared to think of the long-term effects. Just the other day, I came across some interesting facts related to sleep problems or explanations for these anomalies and I can now consider the site a great SLEEP RESOURCE for those of you in search of answers. Let me give just a few hints, and start with a famous phrase:
Did you know that..
-beauty treatments have a greater effect if you sleep for 7-8 hours a night, or that proper sleep helps your heart and make you live longer?
-by giving the body proper rest you actually keep the pounds from adding on your tights?
-tests have been developed to measure the sleep eficiency and that the efficiency ratio is an important tool for doctors when diagnosing the pacient sleep disorder?
-there are sleep disorders (such as sleep apnea,insomnia or poor sleep hygiene) we might have without even knowing?
-nowadays we can purchase fire-retardant sleepware for kids; clothes that can limit the spread of fire if there is one?
-depression can also be linked to sleep disorders or changes in sleeping patterns?
The bottom line is that most of us neglect this aspect of daily life, especially teenagers who prove their worth by the non-sleep hours spent playing games or chatting on the Internet.
"Tell me how you sleep...and I will tell you who you are" could become as relevant as its more famous counterpart.
Wishing you a sound sleep...
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Dialogue with... paintings
I was having a walk downtown when I simply overheard a conversation between a little girl and her father:
" What is there in this building, daddy?" the girl innocently asked. " An art museum" the reply came. After a few seconds the girl continued :" What is an art museum?". " It is the house of painters, it is a place where we go when we want to see famous artists and their paintings" the response came, but before the father could finish, she asked " Why should we go and see the paintings?"...When I turned my face towards the little girl I could see her father grabbing her hand, taking a few steps away from the building and saying "Look! There is an ice cream stand over there! Let's go and have some, shall we?"...
"A great question asked" I immediately thought, smiling at the father's reaction. Then it got me thinking: what would my response be. I actually realized this question would fit the entire attitude of the 21st century average person towards the artistic pursuits, towards the value and time spent on contemplating the best artists of all times. There are so many names and so many paintings ready to speak to us, ready to initiate those types of inner dialogues between the human soul and the unknown or unthinkable of the outer world... these encounters are the ones we stopped having or we simply have less and less because of the rush for material gatherings, for a safer and better life, for a long-term job or for a house that could/should become ours. "Who's got the time for all these when one should have three jobs to pay one's bills?!" would be a pertinent question.
Nevertheless these artistic encounters can only take place if we offer these huge personalities the chance to talk back and answer the question themselves. Any information related to the work of the most FAMOUS ARTISTS can share some light into the mind and give us a different perspective on the human value. Needless to say that the great works are representations of LIFE regardless of a certain political/administrative trend, they portray the human nature stripped of its artificial clothes, immortalized on canvas so that each time we stand in front of a painting we find answers to the fears we have, to the love we share, to the life we lead. Let's take a few works and see what they could speak about:
- Leonardo da Vinci's Monalisa engulfs the mystery or the struggle to get pass the first impression captivity...
-Van Gogh's Stary night reminds us of a fairytale, a great setting for stories, a realm of dreams and platonic love...
-Salvador Dali's The persistence of time relies on our constant ludic behaviour, frees us from any restraint and sets up a bridge between the facts and the fiction...
-Pablo Picasso's Woman with a fan challenges everything we had known before, forces us to interact with a different dimension of humanity, plays with the already-set patterns, re-creates the essence of colour and light.
Note: All the above are a personal view of the paintings, a game I like to play each time I stand in front of a painting; message decoding...
But isn't it fun, challenging, thrilling, rewarding? What if we start from here the pursuit of happiness? The art museum is a place of freedom and we can't deny this realm no matter how hard life is, no matter how deep the suffering or little the time we have in this world...
What would you answer to the little girl's question?
" What is there in this building, daddy?" the girl innocently asked. " An art museum" the reply came. After a few seconds the girl continued :" What is an art museum?". " It is the house of painters, it is a place where we go when we want to see famous artists and their paintings" the response came, but before the father could finish, she asked " Why should we go and see the paintings?"...When I turned my face towards the little girl I could see her father grabbing her hand, taking a few steps away from the building and saying "Look! There is an ice cream stand over there! Let's go and have some, shall we?"..."A great question asked" I immediately thought, smiling at the father's reaction. Then it got me thinking: what would my response be. I actually realized this question would fit the entire attitude of the 21st century average person towards the artistic pursuits, towards the value and time spent on contemplating the best artists of all times. There are so many names and so many paintings ready to speak to us, ready to initiate those types of inner dialogues between the human soul and the unknown or unthinkable of the outer world... these encounters are the ones we stopped having or we simply have less and less because of the rush for material gatherings, for a safer and better life, for a long-term job or for a house that could/should become ours. "Who's got the time for all these when one should have three jobs to pay one's bills?!" would be a pertinent question.
Nevertheless these artistic encounters can only take place if we offer these huge personalities the chance to talk back and answer the question themselves. Any information related to the work of the most FAMOUS ARTISTS can share some light into the mind and give us a different perspective on the human value. Needless to say that the great works are representations of LIFE regardless of a certain political/administrative trend, they portray the human nature stripped of its artificial clothes, immortalized on canvas so that each time we stand in front of a painting we find answers to the fears we have, to the love we share, to the life we lead. Let's take a few works and see what they could speak about:
- Leonardo da Vinci's Monalisa engulfs the mystery or the struggle to get pass the first impression captivity...
-Van Gogh's Stary night reminds us of a fairytale, a great setting for stories, a realm of dreams and platonic love...
-Salvador Dali's The persistence of time relies on our constant ludic behaviour, frees us from any restraint and sets up a bridge between the facts and the fiction...
-Pablo Picasso's Woman with a fan challenges everything we had known before, forces us to interact with a different dimension of humanity, plays with the already-set patterns, re-creates the essence of colour and light.
Note: All the above are a personal view of the paintings, a game I like to play each time I stand in front of a painting; message decoding...
But isn't it fun, challenging, thrilling, rewarding? What if we start from here the pursuit of happiness? The art museum is a place of freedom and we can't deny this realm no matter how hard life is, no matter how deep the suffering or little the time we have in this world...
What would you answer to the little girl's question?
Monday, August 6, 2012
Free...dom
Finally free!My holiday has just started and I am so happy...I've been waiting for so long and D day is here:)
It won't last much, but I am trying to make the best of it.I am not planning any long-distance trip, I am not setting off to a boiling sand and clear water island, but I am at peace and that's rewarding after a long and tiring working year.
So I am now making my imaginary list of to do things during this summer holiday:
-wake up as late as possible and start with a coffee and milk mug whose round stains cover at least 3 of my furniture pieces (I like carrying the mug as a trophy all over the house with me)
-read a few good books
-read my friends posts on their blogs, I missed doing so these last months
-meet my friends, play some cards, have a good laugh and share the freedom moments
-call the friends I can't see these days and check on their own adventures
-re-arrange my house, maybe paint the walls (I feel the need of a more colourful environment :)) go here if you want to check some colours for your rooms
-take long slow-pace walks
-listen to some good music
-turn off the TV and stop hearing the collapse of our government or the economic crisis
-dream a bit ...black&white or in colours
 |
| Photo source |
So I am now making my imaginary list of to do things during this summer holiday:
-wake up as late as possible and start with a coffee and milk mug whose round stains cover at least 3 of my furniture pieces (I like carrying the mug as a trophy all over the house with me)
-read a few good books
-read my friends posts on their blogs, I missed doing so these last months
-meet my friends, play some cards, have a good laugh and share the freedom moments
-call the friends I can't see these days and check on their own adventures
-re-arrange my house, maybe paint the walls (I feel the need of a more colourful environment :)) go here if you want to check some colours for your rooms
-take long slow-pace walks
-listen to some good music
-turn off the TV and stop hearing the collapse of our government or the economic crisis
-dream a bit ...black&white or in colours
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Being a teacher...
I have been busy lately with my work, lots of things happened in my own life and I just couldn't set my finger on the laptop keys to assemble a coherent story. I have taken part in a series of interviews (in search of creative, dedicated, skillful teachers) and there are a few questions I can't help asking myself and you altogether.
So I want to talk about people attending interviews, not people hoping to get a job as an electrician or plumber, or maybe delivery man...no, I am talking about people wanting to become teachers.
I am really curious what does TEACHER mean to most of us, nowadays. When asked about the reasons for choosing this profession some say it's for the money, some say they are not sure-they just need a job, some say for extra money, some say because they have people skills (the funny things is these so-called knowing-how-to-deal-with-the-others have no coherent speech and no positive attitude themselves).
It has been such a long time since I heard one coming forward and saying I want to be a teacher because I love this profession, because I consider teaching my call in life.
It may sound too pretentious but, in fact, a good teacher needs more than being proficient in English (in this case) and filling the class with papers and books and talking a lot, not listening to his own students and praying for those teaching moments to come to an end so that he/she can finally go home.That's so sad and counterproductive for the entire society.The teacher needs to feel the class, aim for understanding and progress, enjoy when his goals are achieved, be there with his entire self. You just can't teach-explain some words, some grammar, ask the students to repeat or fill in some exercise and then go home satisfied that you had done your job for the day. That is just ridiculous and tragic at the same time!
Lack of modesty it's another thing making me angry when interviewing the teachers-to-be. They have no idea about the method, sometimes about teaching at all, but if you just try to get a straight answer from them and maybe give them some hints to help them think in the right direction, they feel the urge to convince you it's different, they don't know how, but it must be different from what you had just said. Some even try to convince you that the nonsense just uttered seconds before was not a lack of knowledge or judgment, it was your inability (as interviewer) to get the deeper meaning of his/her words. And the list could continue...
But the saddest fact is that less and less teachers do their profession trying to set a series of values, to activate the brain and to make use of feelings not to manipulate into some twisted-mind way, but to use this unique human quality at its best, to aim for understanding ,communication and tolerance and most of all, have his/her students act as a group ;teach them respect and never cease to re-evaluate themselves and have the desire of constant improvement.
Last, but not least, there is no way a teacher can do his work just on a fixed schedule or number of working hours. You don't stop being a teacher when the class is finished, because the same values and knowledge are carried in your system all the time... if that is not so, then you are just a good cheater, a magician whose tricks are soon to be revealed and he looked upon as a fake. The society needs teachers, the real ones, because they should be one of the most important oasis of rationality and truth, creativity and open-mindedness, essential for a sane society regardless all forms of development or changes each century carries.
What has happened? Is there something we can do to change all these? How can we reinstate the real values and responsibilities of a teacher?
So I want to talk about people attending interviews, not people hoping to get a job as an electrician or plumber, or maybe delivery man...no, I am talking about people wanting to become teachers.
I am really curious what does TEACHER mean to most of us, nowadays. When asked about the reasons for choosing this profession some say it's for the money, some say they are not sure-they just need a job, some say for extra money, some say because they have people skills (the funny things is these so-called knowing-how-to-deal-with-the-others have no coherent speech and no positive attitude themselves).It has been such a long time since I heard one coming forward and saying I want to be a teacher because I love this profession, because I consider teaching my call in life.
It may sound too pretentious but, in fact, a good teacher needs more than being proficient in English (in this case) and filling the class with papers and books and talking a lot, not listening to his own students and praying for those teaching moments to come to an end so that he/she can finally go home.That's so sad and counterproductive for the entire society.The teacher needs to feel the class, aim for understanding and progress, enjoy when his goals are achieved, be there with his entire self. You just can't teach-explain some words, some grammar, ask the students to repeat or fill in some exercise and then go home satisfied that you had done your job for the day. That is just ridiculous and tragic at the same time!
Lack of modesty it's another thing making me angry when interviewing the teachers-to-be. They have no idea about the method, sometimes about teaching at all, but if you just try to get a straight answer from them and maybe give them some hints to help them think in the right direction, they feel the urge to convince you it's different, they don't know how, but it must be different from what you had just said. Some even try to convince you that the nonsense just uttered seconds before was not a lack of knowledge or judgment, it was your inability (as interviewer) to get the deeper meaning of his/her words. And the list could continue...
But the saddest fact is that less and less teachers do their profession trying to set a series of values, to activate the brain and to make use of feelings not to manipulate into some twisted-mind way, but to use this unique human quality at its best, to aim for understanding ,communication and tolerance and most of all, have his/her students act as a group ;teach them respect and never cease to re-evaluate themselves and have the desire of constant improvement.Last, but not least, there is no way a teacher can do his work just on a fixed schedule or number of working hours. You don't stop being a teacher when the class is finished, because the same values and knowledge are carried in your system all the time... if that is not so, then you are just a good cheater, a magician whose tricks are soon to be revealed and he looked upon as a fake. The society needs teachers, the real ones, because they should be one of the most important oasis of rationality and truth, creativity and open-mindedness, essential for a sane society regardless all forms of development or changes each century carries.
What has happened? Is there something we can do to change all these? How can we reinstate the real values and responsibilities of a teacher?
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